Day 42: The Day I Detest

My mood hasn't changed from the last post. I have only been back from Atlanta a few days and now I have to deal with the hardest day of the year. Four days before my birthday I always have a shitty time. It used to be one of the happiest days of the year. The one connection I had with my dad was that his birthday was 4 days before mine. Now I detest that day. It brings back great memories but with the expiration date of his 49th birthday. The thought that I never got to throw him a 50th birthday party. The fact that I am here celebrating another year and he can't watch me grow. It hurts and I hate it. So if you thought I was going to come off of my Atlanta trip stoked to move forward sorry to disappoint. Right now I am just looking forward to the cruise coming up next week. I want the relaxation and maybe the recharge I need to get back on the wagon.