Day 26: Grrrr

Fml. Work is taking over and I can't help it. The problem is that when I'm so far into work I don't have the energy to figure out food. So I need to figure out working out. Lots of working out. I'm stuck in a rut and this is the weight I always stay at and plateau at. I start seeing 20's and think I'm better than being the 30's. Truth is when I was younger I used to dread weighing more than 200. Why is that not a scare now? All I want is my family member to see me in 40 days and see a difference from last year. Actually I want to look at myself and see a difference. But I give up. I can't this time. Ive been doing so well. I need to pick up my workout game. I need a bigger deficit in calories. I'm gonna get it done. Sunday I will reread my whole blog. Empower my thoughts and actions again. 

Day 25: Game changed ever so slightly

Probably not for the better though. I had a tough food day today. Biscotti for breakfast. Trisqits cheese avocados and turkey for lunch. I had portioned my cheese but then when I wanted more I got some cream cheese. How I thought I could control myself in front of a bucket of cheese was beyond me. Then I met a friend for dinner. The dinner was ok but then I endulged <- that's me tryin not to feel guilty. Half a bottle of wine, half of a gigantic candy bar and almost a half a pack of cigarettes. I'm going to pay for it tomorrow. 

BUT, the big but but not as big as my butt is going to be, I had a great night. I met with my amazing friend Sana. She always puts life into perspective for me. She makes me realize I can do so much more for myself. I hope that one day I stop worry about others and do more for me. I'm going to work harder for this diet.  I'm going to push myself harder than before. This is about me. I want to look in the mirror and finally see the person I feel is trapped inside on the outside. 

Day 24: A little off my game

I'm not liking where I'm going with all of this. I feel like I've lost time in what I could have done. I've also been very drained. Working like crazy and it's hard to keep up with the diet. The exercise is a demon all it's own. I've been saying being on my feet all day painting and working is my workout but I know it can't compensate. I have to pick up my game. Today I kept up with the calories but dinner was a pain in the ass. I wanted to have a healthy dinner but I went to the wrong place. You're gonna think I'm crazy but I went to whole foods and it was a DISASTER. Do you know they don't have calories on anything. Like at all. You have to guess what you're eating. It's such a pain. I wandered around like an idiot and couldn't find anything good. I just got some couscous and tofu. I also got a sparkling water and a biscotti for dessert. I had only a bit of it and left the rest for breakfast. I need a game changer. And soon. 

Day 18-23: It got a little crazy

So the job that I picked up I thought was going to be temporary but ended up being more than full time! A quick run down of my days. 

Thursday I was crazy busy. I didn't get to go to the gym because I had dinner with my brother. We did in and out. I kept the calories in range with a protein style cheese burger. 

Friday was another busy day with work. I didn't count my calories like I wanted. Also dinner would have been a little hard to count because it was Persian food lol. But I avoided carbs and just had salad with chicken. I think I went to the gym that night. I really can't remember. 

Saturday was a laaaazy day. I watched TV all day. Went to Macy's and the to dinner with some friends. I counted my calories and was under since I didn't go to the gym. 

Super Bowl Sunday. I didn't count my calories for obvious reasons but I think I did well. I limited myself as much as I could. 

Monday I did pretty well. I had my kale salad but with another dressing and grilled tofu from whole foods. It was yummy like always. I went to the gym to burn a few more calories. 

Yesterday was another day of struggle with the food. I was so out of it and over worked that I went to chipotle for lunch and I hadn't eaten anything for breakfast. I had a chicken salad at a bar for dinner. I really wanted a beer after an 11 hour day. 

There's what you missed! 

Oh wait I failed to mention I weighed in on Sunday at 229 :) It kept my hopes up and I'm going to push even harder to get to my goal.